Eat your heart out Paula Dean

HAPPINESS
Servings: Unlimited

Ingredients:
Big sweat shirts and/or pajama pants
Good books
Hugs from Grandmother
Coffee (in a huge mug)
A mellow play list
The “sad streak” in a chocolate pound cake (or the top of a regular pound cake if you prefer)
Laughing until your face hurts


In a large bowl combine all ingredients. Pour batter evenly into three prepared pans (or muffin tins) and bake in a 350 degree oven until golden brown. For a seasonal taste, sprinkle generous helpings of Alabama Football or Christmas on top. Best if served with great conversation.

A beloved children’s song

…Betsy Clark REMIX style

Rain, Rain, go away.
I hate your guts, I think you’re gay.
Walking through the mud to class each day,
For a drought, is what I pray.

Tell me the truth Doc, will I ever be motivated again

There is no easy way to say this Ms. Clark, but it seems that your productiveness has been infected by a very severe form of apathy and I’m afraid that it is terminal. You might see and improvement when the rain stops, but I can’t promise you anything. I’m sorry, but we’ve done all we can.

Questions and Thoughts

Questions

1. How come there are life jackets and life boats on a cruise ship, but no parachutes on a plane? I mean there is an emergency exit and your seat can act as a flotation device, so why not strap parachute on that sucker just in case?
2. How come abortion is legal, but if someone kills a pregnant woman it is considered double homicide?
3. And on that note how important do you have to be for your death to be considered an assassination instead of a murder?
4. Why is there Braille on a drive thru atm?

Thoughts

1. I think poeple should be required to take some sort of test before they are allowed to reproduce or vote in a major election.
2. If you know you’re an idiot, just say “Thank you, but no” when Ben Bailey (spelling?) asks if you would like to play cash cab.
3. Why would you want to be on “are you smarter than a 5th grader” it is a lose, not quite lose but defiantly not win situation. I mean where is the glory? If you lose than you’re a dummy and if you win then so what? You should be smarter than a fifth grader college professor, cancer research scientist or whoever you are. The questions, no matter how obscure, are still technically on a fifth grade level.
4. I think spiders are one of the more scary things on the planet.
5. I love it storms late at night when I am warm in my bed... I also love my dog.
6. I feel bad for people who don’t have siblings.

It's begining to look a lot like Chirstmas

Everyone hates last minute Christmas shopping. The mall in December? No thanks, so our mother always tries her best to get it done early and every year she fails and finds herself at the mall on the 20 something of December. I can’t help but blame myself (and Tyler). Each time October rolls around, my mom asks us if we could start making a Christmas list. Meredith (being the good one) always complies, but for some reason I can not make a Christmas list. I can’t ever think of anything I want so mom and Meredith have to compile one themselves based on things I say I think are cool, or things they know I want that I don’t know I want (if that made sense) which takes a lot longer than me just telling them when I want in the fist place. Well don’t worry oh Mother of mine. I am way ahead of you this year, and all these things can be ordered from the comfort of your own home!

Betsy's Christmas List*



1. A Loud n' Clear

2. The Touch n' Brush

(It gets ALL the toothpaste)

3. Kymera Magic Wand Remote Control IR remote control using a built-in accelerometer. Owners can program up to thirteen different codes into the wand and activate them using different gestures while holding the device. Let’s say, for example, you want to change the channel on the television. All you need to do is flick the wand in your hand either up or down at the TV and the channel changes.


(Swish and Flick!)


4. A Kindle (no picture but you get it)

*I do not promise to not to buy the loud n' clear for myself before chirstmas gets here... I must have it and don't think I can wait

No, I am not kidding about anything on this list. Mom and Dad have heard me argue the validity of the first two things on this list.

Ode to Alabama Football

Yeah Alabama, Drown ‘em Tide
On a game day, me in Bryant Denny Stadium you will find
Dressed in Crimson and white, lucky shaker in hand
My friends and I sit just to the left of the million dollar band

We wait all summer and count down the days,
To the kickoff to officially restart the football craze
We make our score predictions (where we always win)
Oops it’s two hours before the game; it’s time to go in.

So off we go to game, and it’s a pretty nice walk
But we have no time to stop and talk.
People want to socialize, but we can’t break stride
So we smile and wave and give the a quick Roll Tide

We get in the stadium and we all have our shakers to shake,
But then I realize it is still a two hour wait.
And wait we shall, with the hot sun beating down
Cursing the real ticket holders still milling about town.

And when you think you just can’t take the heat anymore
Someone will call your attention to the score board
The clock starts to tick and one voice can be heard over all
The announcer saying “It’s 90 minutes till Alabama Football”

We watch the kicker warm up, and then with a groan
I start to make fun of the male cheer leader with the microphone
We cheer as our boys come out for some last minute drills
And we all go crazy when Nick Saban steps on to the field.

The band takes the field and we scream and we shout
As we all get ready for the “big bama spell out”
The team rushes back out to the tune of our fight song.
With Captain Saban at the helm, what could go wrong?

At the end of the day we are all hot and tired
My feet hurt, and my skin burns because the sun was like fire.
But it was all worth it, ‘because we brought down the hammer
and there is nothing that can’t be cured by a big round of RAMMER JAMMER!

Touche

Okay comcast, you might have won this round but you have not heard the last of me.