Two Things

1. I got to meet/take a picture/ listen to a speech by Amy Roloff (the mom from little people big world) today and it was cool.

2. Ode to Steve Spurrier
There is some big news I feel I should mention,
Steve Suprrier is hosting this year’s Sore Loser Convention.
He’ll say some great things and you’ll learn quite a lot.
If you’re a sore loser, give old Steve a shot.

For example: If your football team loses and it is your fault
There is something you can do to make the blame halt.
Your fans are upset, and it’s more than you can stand.
Run and complain to the NCAA as quick as you can!

Blame anything and everything and you’ll be in good shape.
It could be something dumb, like a piece of white tape.
You can even blame music for your football folly
‘Cause you know blaming Bama makes the NC double A jolly.

When it comes to passing the blame, you’ll be a lock
After listening to the Coach of the mighty Gamecocks.
So come one and come all, it will be a great time,
We’ll supply the cheese if you bring the whine.

Baby it's cold outside

It is the first Cold day we've had so far this year. So what is the only logical thing to do girls? That's right, grab your scarf, grab your ugg boots, but don't forget your leggings. Forget the pants, they are clearly not needed..... ok seriously what is wrong with people?

Extra! Extra! Read All About It!

After about 6 months of thought (and big time prayer) I have decided to change my major, and as a result, the direction of my life…I could not be more excited.

Unsolicited tip for the day

You have to make your life good. Yes, sometimes things are just bad and I can’t control that, but what I can control is how I deal with it. I mean we only have this one life to live, so we’d better start living the crap out of every day. But how do I do this? How do I put myself in the right mindset? It’s simple and it rhymes!

Pray continuously in ALL that you do.
Decide that you rock… and believe that it’s true
(Disclaimer: rhyming advice is easier said than done, but give it a shot)

Laugh if you will, but you know I’m right.

Eat your heart out Paula Dean

HAPPINESS
Servings: Unlimited

Ingredients:
Big sweat shirts and/or pajama pants
Good books
Hugs from Grandmother
Coffee (in a huge mug)
A mellow play list
The “sad streak” in a chocolate pound cake (or the top of a regular pound cake if you prefer)
Laughing until your face hurts


In a large bowl combine all ingredients. Pour batter evenly into three prepared pans (or muffin tins) and bake in a 350 degree oven until golden brown. For a seasonal taste, sprinkle generous helpings of Alabama Football or Christmas on top. Best if served with great conversation.

A beloved children’s song

…Betsy Clark REMIX style

Rain, Rain, go away.
I hate your guts, I think you’re gay.
Walking through the mud to class each day,
For a drought, is what I pray.

Tell me the truth Doc, will I ever be motivated again

There is no easy way to say this Ms. Clark, but it seems that your productiveness has been infected by a very severe form of apathy and I’m afraid that it is terminal. You might see and improvement when the rain stops, but I can’t promise you anything. I’m sorry, but we’ve done all we can.

Questions and Thoughts

Questions

1. How come there are life jackets and life boats on a cruise ship, but no parachutes on a plane? I mean there is an emergency exit and your seat can act as a flotation device, so why not strap parachute on that sucker just in case?
2. How come abortion is legal, but if someone kills a pregnant woman it is considered double homicide?
3. And on that note how important do you have to be for your death to be considered an assassination instead of a murder?
4. Why is there Braille on a drive thru atm?

Thoughts

1. I think poeple should be required to take some sort of test before they are allowed to reproduce or vote in a major election.
2. If you know you’re an idiot, just say “Thank you, but no” when Ben Bailey (spelling?) asks if you would like to play cash cab.
3. Why would you want to be on “are you smarter than a 5th grader” it is a lose, not quite lose but defiantly not win situation. I mean where is the glory? If you lose than you’re a dummy and if you win then so what? You should be smarter than a fifth grader college professor, cancer research scientist or whoever you are. The questions, no matter how obscure, are still technically on a fifth grade level.
4. I think spiders are one of the more scary things on the planet.
5. I love it storms late at night when I am warm in my bed... I also love my dog.
6. I feel bad for people who don’t have siblings.

It's begining to look a lot like Chirstmas

Everyone hates last minute Christmas shopping. The mall in December? No thanks, so our mother always tries her best to get it done early and every year she fails and finds herself at the mall on the 20 something of December. I can’t help but blame myself (and Tyler). Each time October rolls around, my mom asks us if we could start making a Christmas list. Meredith (being the good one) always complies, but for some reason I can not make a Christmas list. I can’t ever think of anything I want so mom and Meredith have to compile one themselves based on things I say I think are cool, or things they know I want that I don’t know I want (if that made sense) which takes a lot longer than me just telling them when I want in the fist place. Well don’t worry oh Mother of mine. I am way ahead of you this year, and all these things can be ordered from the comfort of your own home!

Betsy's Christmas List*



1. A Loud n' Clear

2. The Touch n' Brush

(It gets ALL the toothpaste)

3. Kymera Magic Wand Remote Control IR remote control using a built-in accelerometer. Owners can program up to thirteen different codes into the wand and activate them using different gestures while holding the device. Let’s say, for example, you want to change the channel on the television. All you need to do is flick the wand in your hand either up or down at the TV and the channel changes.


(Swish and Flick!)


4. A Kindle (no picture but you get it)

*I do not promise to not to buy the loud n' clear for myself before chirstmas gets here... I must have it and don't think I can wait

No, I am not kidding about anything on this list. Mom and Dad have heard me argue the validity of the first two things on this list.

Ode to Alabama Football

Yeah Alabama, Drown ‘em Tide
On a game day, me in Bryant Denny Stadium you will find
Dressed in Crimson and white, lucky shaker in hand
My friends and I sit just to the left of the million dollar band

We wait all summer and count down the days,
To the kickoff to officially restart the football craze
We make our score predictions (where we always win)
Oops it’s two hours before the game; it’s time to go in.

So off we go to game, and it’s a pretty nice walk
But we have no time to stop and talk.
People want to socialize, but we can’t break stride
So we smile and wave and give the a quick Roll Tide

We get in the stadium and we all have our shakers to shake,
But then I realize it is still a two hour wait.
And wait we shall, with the hot sun beating down
Cursing the real ticket holders still milling about town.

And when you think you just can’t take the heat anymore
Someone will call your attention to the score board
The clock starts to tick and one voice can be heard over all
The announcer saying “It’s 90 minutes till Alabama Football”

We watch the kicker warm up, and then with a groan
I start to make fun of the male cheer leader with the microphone
We cheer as our boys come out for some last minute drills
And we all go crazy when Nick Saban steps on to the field.

The band takes the field and we scream and we shout
As we all get ready for the “big bama spell out”
The team rushes back out to the tune of our fight song.
With Captain Saban at the helm, what could go wrong?

At the end of the day we are all hot and tired
My feet hurt, and my skin burns because the sun was like fire.
But it was all worth it, ‘because we brought down the hammer
and there is nothing that can’t be cured by a big round of RAMMER JAMMER!

Touche

Okay comcast, you might have won this round but you have not heard the last of me.

I think that...

Tomorrow is going to be a good one... I can feel it

Back to School

Back to school. Back to school,
To show my dad that I'm not a fool.
I got my lunch packed up, my boots tied tight
I hope I don't get in a fight.
Ohhhh Back to school

I wrote a post about the first day of school (which is still going on for me) and a few concerns I have about this semester. It was all ready to put online when I deleted it all. Although it was funny (in my opinion) it was basically one big lamentation and no one wants to hear that. Yes, I am going to be busier than most, but not as busy as some. My classes are going to be tough, but it could be much worse. There are going to be some late night, but hey, I’m in college. How much sleep do I really need anyway?

Sorry that yall almost had to hear me complain for an entire blog post…. Witty it might be, but helpful it isn’t.

Here comes the bride… and there goes the dog.

Seeing as the whole spray tan incident momentarily shot my blood pressure through the roof, and provided a wonderful story that will probably be told for years to come, I thought the wedding that would follow would be just as crazy… Wrong.

It was wonderful.

I arrived in Huntsville at 2:30 for the rehearsal/ rehearsal dinner/ pool party. Yes, I said pool party. The wedding party (including yours truly) was wearing bathing suit cover ups and flip flops during the rehearsal, then it was off to the pool. I only have 2 things to say about the rehearsal dinner.
1. It’s amazing how you can have a group of semi-normal adults, but as soon as you put them in a pool with a 10 foot deep end they become the most rowdy children there.
2. Chicken with white BBQ sauce and ribs… feel free to be jealous.

I know what you’re thinking. “A wedding outside in July? Pass the lady speed stick” but even the weather worked out in our favor. It was hot all day, even during pictures, but as soon as the wedding started so did the breeze. The yellow dress, which I had been stressing/ dreading for the past few weeks looked really good (I know I am surprised as you are that I was able to pull it off), next to our brightly colored bouquets of gerber daisies and roses. Everything about the wedding was relaxed and happy, especially the ring bearer. He was escorted down the isle by Megan’s little sisters (junior bridesmaids, NOT flower girls) and laid down quietly by one of the groomsmen; while enjoying a bone covered with peanut butter… did I mention the ring bearer was an 80 pound 10 month old yellow lab named Boomer?

After the vows were red and the “I Do’s” were said, the new Mr. and Mrs. Made their way back down the isle to start their life of wedded bliss. The junior bridesmaids went to retrieve the dog, but there was a little snag in that plan. Boomer was completely content to continue laying right were he was with his peanut butter bone, and had no intention of moving. The groomsmen holding him had to snatch the bone from the dog and handed him off to the girls (who together probably weigh a combined total of 80 pound) but Boomer was not having any of it. He was still very focused on his bone (now in the hand of a groomsman). Not really sure how to handle this situation, the groomsmen looks at me for some reason, and I (in a joking manner) mouthed the words “throw it” to him. I knew that there was no way that this grown man would actually throw this bone down the isle in the middle of a wedding… I was wrong. Needless to say the dog takes off running all but dragging these poor girls with him. It kind of made the walk back down the isle a little less awkward because everyone, including the wedding party, was still laughing.

I know for a fact there were moments that day that Megan felt really stressed and overwhelmed by the amount to stuff we had to get done, but other than that the wedding and reception went off without a hitch. Megan looked so happy and absolutely beautiful, I’ve never seen anyone “glow” before but somehow she did.

The night ended perfectly with the bride and groom running to their car as the guest held sparklers. This beautiful Kodak moment was followed shortly by them having to turn around because Megan left the bag with her cell phone and all her stuff. Haha Blushing bride or not… it’s still Megan

"I'M AN EIGHT???!!!!"

If my life was a reality show, VH1 would be running clips of my day yesterday on “Best Week Ever” and making fun of me. It all started with a yellow dress…

I’m in a wedding Saturday and the dresses are yellow. (not bright yellow, more like a stick of butter yellow) Some of you may have noticed in the past that I am a tad on the fair side (insert sarcastic comment) so when I put the light yellow dress on I looked pretty washed out. So what did I decide to do about it? The only logical thing… Get Lacy to give me a spray tan, duhhh. So yesterday I found myself at her place of business, standing there in a bathing suit getting apple scented tanning solution sprayed on me. When she was done, I thank her and she leaves so I can get dressed, and that was when I looked in the mirror. I flipped my shiz-nit, for real. I stayed calm while at the tanning place while I was asking Lacy repeatedly “Are you sure I don’t look crazy” She assured my I did not and sent me on my way. Now I’m the type of person who needs like 4 people’s opinions before I buy a pair of pants, so needless to say I did not just go home like she told me too. I need someone’s eyes on me who knows what I normally look like and is honest enough to tell me if it looks crazy…. So I call Aunt Sharon. She is not home but she said that she is sure it looks fine and don’t wash it off “because I want to see you all tanned”. See what I heard when she said that last bit was “don’t wash it off because I want to see you look like a big idiot”. I needed some to assess the situation and honestly tell me what they thought so I decided to go to the Mecca of honesty, Uncle Wayne and Aunt Libba’s house. As I pull up to their lovely home I am on the phone freaking out to my mother, (and I clearly had already lost my mind at this point) so without thinking I ring the doorbell sending Barkley into hysterics. This is followed by Uncle Wayne answering the das “you mean, weirder than normal?”…. Now there is more to the story here but it involves asking over and over if they are sure I don’t need to wash it off immediately and talking like a crazy person (probably too fast for them to even understand me) but I’ve already made myself sound stupid enough. Aunt Libba finally calmed me down and told me it did not look strange and I chose to believe her because I love her and trust her judgment… that and the fact that if I looked really crazy she would not be able to keep a straight face.

I am kind of sad because I don’t feel like this story transfers to text very well. It’s things like this that make me want to carry a video camera every where I go. Also I feel it’s necessary to confess that there is more to this story (including me going to see Brittney) but I was trying to save a much face as possible so some chapters have been omitted.


Any who, I am happy to report that every thing is fine now. When you get a spray tan, it is kind of dark but lightens up when you get in the shower and today everything looks fine.

Things to Do

I'm in a wedding next Saturday and I need to get ready... where has the time gone?

1.Learn how to put on makeup so I look semi presentable (and not completely washed out) in the pictures
2. Get hair cut and learn how to do it so I look semi presentable
3. Paint toenails
4. Buy makeup seeing as I am out of some stuff of mine
5. get something to wear for the rehearsal dinner
6. Pick up dress at the alterations place

I wonder if I'm leaving something out

Meredith Clark's Summer Reading List

1. The Bible
2. Beowulf
3. Ramona Forever
4. All books with the words Boxcar Children, Babysitters club, and/or Sweet Valley High in the title
5. The Crucible
6. Six by Seuss (which is a collection of short stories if you recall)
7. The back the cereal box
8. Beth’s blog
9. The news paper
10. Everybody poops
12. My horoscope
11. Are you there God? It’s me, Margaret (to help you get through that tough transition from child to teenager)


If you can’t find something on this list to that you want to read….well then I can’t help you

And now

I'm tired

Are you there fun? It's me, Betsy

Fear is a pretty useless emotion if you think about it. Sure, sometimes a little fear does keep me out of trouble or from getting hurt, but does it also keep me from living? I realized last night that I say “no” to a lot of things just because I am scared of what could happen. I mean seriously, I am only 20 years old and already there are things I look back on not doing with regret.

Some of my friends and I were talking last night about things we were scared of and I figured out that one of my biggest fears is getting old and looking back on my life and being disappointed. Like I said there are already things that worry made me miss out on, so I have decided to make more of an effort to relax, take chances, and do stupid spontaneous stuff while I have the chance. I really want to start trying to live life to the fullest and not worry so much about the rules, all the little things that could happen. I am about to start my junior year in college, isn’t now the time to have fun and do crazy, fun things. I can feel my “time to be a carefree (ish) young adult” starting to wind down and I refuse to let my college years slip by without having a little irresponsible fun along the way.

*So last night I was invited to go do something that I would usually say “no” to. When my friend asked me if I wanted to go all my usual paranoid questions popped into my head. “What if someone gets hurt?”, “What if I get hurt?” “What if we get in trouble”. Then I realized the chances of someone getting hurt were slim and we probably were not going to get into trouble so I decided to go (even though I was scared) and I loved every minute. Now I have a very memorable night with a group of friends that I love, and even if we did get into a little bit of trouble, there is no one I would rather be with… what a great story.

Even though I did not do anything really crazy or life changing last night, it’s a start. So who ever is reading this I am asking you help me to not be so fearful of things. If I start to back out of something for stupid reasons, point it out to me and encourage me to live the life out of every day.

* If you want to know the whole story of last night just ask me.

It is

really hot, and that makes me really lazy.

Computer, allow me to introduce you to the ground (via a 4th story window)

Aunt Sharon,
I’m not 100% sure what “following” is on this site but I am pretty sure I would like to do it to you, seeing as I follow other relatives and get to read the hilarity that is their lives. However, I click on your picture but all it shows me is who you are following. I want you to know that just because I am not following you online at this time does not mean I am not following you in my heart.
Love,
Betsy

Ode To Summer School

Summer School, Oh Summer School
Because I am with you, I’m not at the pool.
For two hours I’m locked in a freezing room
While Tuesdays dreaded test, on my horizon looms

To keep up with you dear Summer School, one has to move fast.
With all the work piling up, I just pray that I’ll last.
A whole semester of class into one month is crammed.
Miss just one little day and I’ll be in a horrible jam

In class I must sit in a room with no windows,
So I know not when the sun shines or the wind blows.
My Teacher is really good and kind of funny, you see,
But I would like to ask her “For once could you let us out on time, please?”

When I’m released I walk outside with the rest of the summer school crew.
We all look at each other and wonder, “What have we gotten ourselves into?”
Just think, a semester of accounting is such a short time,
But my fears seem to calm when I walk out into the warm sun shine.

When I leave my class I hope for a quiet lunch at the Ferg
But through the thick June head a strange noise can be heard
Summer School, is it your tired students making this loud joyous sound?
No, it is all the excited kids and their parents here for Bama Bound

The Ferg is packed with kids chatting about their schedules, roommates, and more
So I grab my Chick-fil-a sandwich and head for the door.
With my book bag weighed down with my homework and notes,
I must get away from these care free folks.

So Summer school, it looks like it’s just you and me,
As I eat my lunch on the quad under a tree.
Enjoying this quiet moment, summer school I think of you.
How you’re not so bad, there are much worse things I could do

Do everything with joy in your heart, says our preacher
But he does not have to spend 2 hours a day getting yelled at by an accounting teacher
So summer school it looks like we’ve got a long journey ahead,
But in the end you will not beat this girl, with hair that is red.

And the golden popcorn goes to…

Confession: I watched the MTV movie awards last night. I usually like this particular award show because I am a huge movie buff, and the host usually makes borderline inappropriate jokes about people sitting in the audience while the camera is right up in their face. What’s not to love? So when I heard that the movie awards were coming on, I snuggled up on my couch excited at the thought of watching Zack Effron (is that how you spell it?) try to laugh it off as the guy from SNL mocks him and his entire career. The opening sketch was really funny, but it was all down hill from there. The rest of the show was awkward, confusing, and offensive. The host made a number of really awkward drawn out jokes, I lost all respect for Leanne Rhymes (which was not that much to begin with), and was shocked at what they got away with showing and saying on regular TV. If you don’t know what I am talking about consider yourself lucky, seeing as I will forever have to live with the fact that I saw Eminem storm out of the room after a naked guy wearing angel wings was dropped on his face.

Final Thoughts:
1. This award show will make you laugh at the shockingly low moral standards of humanity; and cry for the same reasons
2. Miley Cyrus’s acceptance speech made me embarrassed to watch but, much like I train wreck, I could not look away.
3. “Twilight” was voted best picture over “The Dark Knight”… To be fair, I really enjoyed (and own) both movies, but could someone explain that to me?
4. Apparently I am a huge fan of numbering my thoughts and opinions on this blog.

I acknowledge the fact that I have no authority whatsoever to judge seeing as I am not a movie critic, celebrity, writer, or someone with a lot of fashion sense

Now, who are you again?

It seems that I am some what of an anomaly, a walking paradox if you will. The list of evidence supporting this statement includes but is no limited to the following:
In high school, on more than one occasion, they made us take personality tests to figure out whether we were a type ‘A’, ‘B’, or ‘C’ and multiple times my test results said I am a mixture of the personality types. The last time or two, including one I took today, said I am a Type ‘B’ which is once again a mix of type A and C.
I took multiple career aptitude tests and I always get really off the wall career choices that have nothing to do with one another, and would be horrible for me. Examples: zoologist, clergy member, law enforcement officer, gym teacher… My results always say something complimentary like, “With your wide range of interests you would be comfortable in any field you enter.” Translation- “Your crazy answers were so inconsistent we could not find a career to put you in so we have listed things that are in no way related to one another.”
I am a girl but I don’t like to shop. I really hate malls and I have no idea why. I hardly ever leave there feeling ready to go someplace else; all I want to do is go home and sleep.
Some might suggest that I am a touch on the attention deficit disorder side of the spectrum, but yet I could sit with a book and read for hours. I can even read in the Ferg at noon when it’s impossible to find a seat and it is extremely loud.
I grew up (and am still growing up) in the age of technology however don’t know a thing about it. I have very little patients for cell phone but could not live with out mine, I can send an email but not much else, and I find iphones really cool but a waste of money. I’m sorry but I already have a computer, ipod, and cell phone all of which I paid too much money for, so why waste more money on something that renders all my other gadgets obsolete
Dad always tells me how mature I am, but at times I sense of humor rivals that of a 12 year old boy
I’m relatively old fashion and set in my ways. I don’t care about celebrities, I think most of the stuff on TV and the most of today’s fashion trends are stupid, and the music that is now popular gives me a migraine- however, I am a fountain of pop culture knowledge, even if it pertains to a time I was too young to remember or was not born for… Could someone explain that please?
Country and (for lack of a better word) “Classic Rock” are my favorite music. My choice of country music is self explanatory but I fell in love with the other stuff because of Dad. When I was little he introduced me to the likes of Jimmy Hendrix, The Who, The Beatles, and The Doobie Brothers…Thanks Dad for making me one of the coolest seven year olds in my Sunday school class.
I think if you could see my personality, the essence of all that is Betsy, you would see something along the lines of a patchwork quilt… I’m sure there are more examples of my contradictory way of life, just ask Meredith.

--I will not make it a habit to write extended post that are completely about myself and what makes me tick. Thank you for your time

Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

Those people who live with me have heard me say “It the little victories like that that get you through the day.” I believe that we all have those little things (victories, if you will) that help up move through the hum drum everyday activities of work, school, and other obligations of the like. For example: When you are trying to find something in a book and you just so happen to flip it open to the page with the exact information you are looking for- Victory. When you have to use a public restroom and you walking (ladies) and the toilet seat is up and the water is blue signaling that you are the first person to use it since it had been cleaned- Victory. When you are just having a crappy day and you knock in to a chair revealing that TV remote you lost weeks ago- Victory.
But every so often you happen upon something just so random and crazy it outshines all your little victories and makes you laugh for the rest of the day. This happened to me today.

The story:
I have been have a good albeit unremarkable day when my boss asked me to run something over to the Rose administration building. I had already made the trip over there once today but I was happy to go again because it is such a pretty day outside and I always welcome the chance to stretch my legs (as long as it is not raining or cold). ANYWAY… I was meandering back to work thinking about the beautiful weather and the all but deserted campus when I see and elderly woman a few dozen yards ahead of me. She was easily 200 years old and upon closer examination was clearly some sort of gypsy, but the reason I notice this woman at all (I tend exhibit an extreme lack of situational awareness when I walk) because there is a strange screeching sound coming from the tree above her. I slow my pace a little so I wont bump into her or be a creepy “close walker”, and am completely content to walk at her osteoporosis-induced-slightly-hunch-back pace seeing as I am not in a huge hurry. All of the sudden she stops turns around and holds out her had saying, “Bird! Baby Bird!”. That’s right folks; this gypsy lady had somehow caught herself a bird and is only too proud to show it to me.
I was always taught that it was rude to stare, also to be nice and polite to adults (especially the elderly) but all my southern charm training clearly went out the window as I found that all I could do was stare at this woman… I mean come on, what do you say to that? I thought about telling her she does not need to touch baby birds because the mom won’t come back to it, but it was too late for that. I also heard my mother’s voice prompting me to tell her to put it down and immediately wash her hands before touching her face or handling food, but I could not do that either because my mouth had entered a state of temporary paralysis. By the time it wore of she was, fortunately, out of ear shot because the only thing I remembered how to do was laugh—Huge Victory.

Man I love the summer.

Where have to been all my life?

I don’t watch that much television. Not that I don’t want to or am morally opposed to it, I just am never home and when I am, I am usually sleeping. Well, school ended for me a couple of weeks ago so a came home for a mini summer break. I had nothing to do so in addition to being a drain on society I watched a lot of TV. I was shocked/amazed/disgusted/enthralled/excited (pretty much any extreme emotion) at what I saw. You go about 5 months without watching TV regularly and all hell breaks loose. The following are my favorites
1. Tough Love- Now I could not bring myself to watch an entire episode (mostly because every time it was on so was a movie, mom and dad got fancy cable with HBO, what are you going to do?) but from what I gather, this is a reality show about women who want to fall in love but for some reason can’t. So they do the only logical thing, move into a house full of cameras, pool tables, hot tubs, and booze. You might be, asking yourself, as was I, “how can these things help these women find love?” Well they can’t but they man that lives there can. The whole point of the show is for this man to watch these women and be brutally honest in telling them what is wrong with them, and why men won’t date them…. What I want to know is how they determine the winner? Is it the woman who does not try to slit her wrist after receiving all the criticism? “Congratulations lady, you did not commit suicide during this process. You’ve won an all inclusive, extensive stay at therapy!”
2. 18 Kids and Counting- I LOVE this show, but I could not tell you exactly why. Premise of the show: Crazy Christians have 18 kids because they have decided that birth control is not biblical and they want as many kids as the Lord will bless them with…humm now far be it for me to judge them, this could very well be what God is calling them to do, but count me out. In my opinion that is like saying, “Alarm clocks are not biblical so I will not use one. When ever God sees fit to wake me up, He will.” I think the real reason I watch the show is because of the mother. She had this voice that is, for lack of a better word, mesmerizing. She has a very soothing kindergarten teacher type voice, and when she speaks those kids just stop slack- jawed and listen, as do I. There are only 2 possible explanations for the mother’s hypnotic powers.
1. Having that many kids has made her body release a calming hormone to protect her mind from the stress induced stroke that is inevitably hers.
2. She is a witch… not a bad witch like on “The Craft”, but a good witch like on “Charmed” or “Sabrina the teenaged witch”
3. Paris Hilton’s My New BFF- I have no words nor will I dignify this show by trying to come up with anything amusing about it (however it has potential for and excellent critic blog ala Ihategreenbeans blog, I’m just saying)
4. New Real World/Road Rules (but not really road rules) Challenge- I am not even embarrassed to say that I want to start watching this show… I will always love it and I think that is a result of being a child of the 90’s. However, it makes me sad that I don’t recognize some of the people, and what is a RW/RR challenge with out Coral and Mike aka “the miz”? On a similar note I want to write a letter to MTV requesting, nay, demanding, the return of Road Rules.

I am kind of worried that reality TV is the beginning of the end of the world, but the more reality shows I hear about, the more convinced I become that I need my own.

True Story

I have a teacher who, if I had to guess, is about 56. He is a real professor (not a TA or a grad student who wants us to relate to him) so he is referred to as Dr. Shall remain nameless, and wears nice clothes to class. At first glance, with his white buttoned down shirts and occasional tie, it looks like he is wearing black dress pants. However, on closer inspection it is painfully obvious that these are no dress pant but cargo pants and the extra pockets (which, I’m sorry can only be described as saddle bags) are always full.
I have spent ALL semester wondering what he could possibly be keeping in those pockets. After almost five months of asking myself (and the guy who sits next to me) that very question, I finally got my answer during a lecture on promotional products.
I sat in class yesterday and watched my teacher pull out of his right cargo pants pocket and pull out a coffee mug, travel size bottle of germ-x, and a mini foam football.
Don’t get me wrong I am absolutely thrilled that I witnessed that but now I can’t help but wonder… what does he keep in the left one?

I am Spam...apparently

I made this blog because I thought one of Beth’s posts was friggen hilarious and I wanted to leave a comment informing her of this. It took me FOEVER because apparently I am spam. I could not, for the life of me, read those crazy words they get you to type to make sure you are not spam or a robot. So it took no less than twenty minutes to leave a one sentence comment…yeah, that sounds about right.